February Blues

Life sucks. That pretty much sums up what's going on right now. This weekend is turning out to be one of the worst ever... and it's a Thursday.
I really want to get my own apartment, but frankly, I don't think I can afford it. Living with the g-parent's is great, but I can't help but feel like I'm in the way or taking advantage of their hospitality at times.

Work is frustrating, with lots of upcoming changes. Con prep is inching its way forward, with less than a month away. And I just realized that my two best friends are graduating from high school in a few months and I'll be even more alone than ever.

Maybe it's just the winter blues setting in, I don't know. Nothing of interest to report, just rants. Best wishes to everyone.

Welcome Home!

Reiko is HOME! After years of saving, and some help from friends and family, my dream BJD is finally here. I'd like to especially thank Belinda, Maleah, Mom & Dad, and Grandpa & Grandma for their love and support. Here's a short photostory of Reiko's First Day!

Eva is getting ready to help me open THE BOX. I think she's hoping it is her Gabriel... but he will have to wait for later.

Its a PARTY! Peanuts that stuck to everything, ick. Eva sat this one out.

First look at my beautiful new girl! Her face-up is PERFECT.

Clothes on, she's ready to go. Sadly I forgot to purchase another wig-cap before she got home, so I had to 'borrow' Eva's. Luckily the pink wig stays on a lot easier than the long white one.

Eva welcomed Reiko to our home and the two of them became great friends while I was at work all day. Tomorrow I'll be sewing, sewing, sewing...

Thanks for looking! Oh, and Happy New Year!

Mid-November Update

Hi everybody. So, Christmas is fast approaching and I haven't done ANY Christmas shopping. I've done lots of shopping, just not so much for anyone else. lol.

My new obsession? Monster High Dolls. I have the books on hold at the library, can't wait to read them! I've already watched every cartoon episode, but that isn't hard as they are really short. (2-3 minutes each.) I bought my first doll online, Ghoulia Yelps. She's awesome.

Grandma and Grandpa spend more time away from home than they do here at the house. This weekend they are up visiting family for a special occasion. (Their most recent grandchild is being blessed in church.) Part of me wishes I could go with to see everyone, but I had work and previous obligations. (Photoshoot with my BJD friends.)

I'm trying to get used to this being alone thing, and so far I'm just lonely. There was a gentleman in our community that passed away a few months back who was in a similar situation as myself, I think. He spent the last years of his life alone, taking care of his aging mother. Sometimes I wonder if he was really very happy.

My room is filthy. I have a very long to-do list, most of it cleaning, but I'm too lazy to get anything done. There's dust everywhere and its starting to drive me crazy. Maybe tomorrow I'll take everything down and deep clean even the corners with the vacuum and a scrub brush. Or maybe I'll sleep in and roll out of bed in time to take a shower and run off to work instead.

Updates on my hobbies? Madelyn is still missing arms and legs, Charlotte is a little cleaner than before, but I have yet to get all her old blushing removed, and Dex is still blank. I did learn how to make little loops on the lower wings of my french beaded butterflies. Other than that, not much to report. I dabble in everything and complete nothing.

So if you've read this far, you're amazing. Cause no one seems to read my posts anymore. I can't really blame anyone, as my life is rather ordinary. I wish I could post about how awesome this trip that I went on was or how amazing it is to be asked out on a date by someone I really like, but that just isn't me. I watch movies and eat wheat thins with cream cheese by myself in the dark. G'nite world!

Silent Tears

I talked with a really nice lady at work the other day. I've been pretty careful not to be direct about my sexuality in the workplace, as I think it should be. Anyway, her son is gay. She's also very mormon. She was so loving about it, though, and for some reason I felt at ease to come out to her. (Later I got reprimanded for taking a long time chatting with her.) It was a great experience, especially as I don't really have any gay friends or contact with the gay community. It reminded me I'm not alone!

It also reminded me why I'm not active in the church. Everything in "normal" people's lives revolves around their family. I have a very good friend from high school, who is now married and hopes to start a family of their own. "Normal" boys look for a wife, have children, and have reasons to get up every day and go to work. I'm not normal. Kids aren't in my future. I can't even marry the man of my dreams... if I ever find him. (Not in Utah anyway.)

I read a "banned book" online the other day. It was called "And Tango Makes Three." Its a children's story about a gay penguin couple in a New York Zoo who adopt a penguin chick as their own. (True story, btw.) I found it to be very sweet, and not offensive in the least. If only life had such a happy ending. (As the story, not the real life penguins, who have since split I believe.)

So today I'm crying silent tears for what I won't likely get to have. I cry for those reasons for getting out of bed I won't ever know. I cry for the memories I'm not going to share. I cry for the loss of being normal and all that those who get to have it take for granted. G'nite world. I'll put on a brave face tomorrow and pretend like these silent tears never fell.

Anime Banzai 2011

Woot! This past weekend I had the opportunity to go to Utah's largest Anime Convention, Anime Banzai in Layton! My good friend Jeremy was kind enough to offer me a place to stay and my friend Sarah Hall let me carpool north with her and her family. It was awesome!

First, one of the Guests of Honor for Banzai this year was Wendi Pini! She was so nice in person and fit right in with all the rest of us anime nerds. She even cosplayed! I was fortunate enough to have her sign my copies of ElfQuest! So happy...

The following day, as the Con went from Friday to Sunday, I got to participate in the Pokemon Black/White Video Game Tournament! This was my first experience competing with my Pokemon and I was delighted to do better than I had expected. There were six rounds total and I won four of them! I lost to the players who got 2nd and 3rd place over-all so I'm delighted to have done so well. As a bonus gift, I got a shiny Sneasel! (I love Sneasel... lol.)

And of course there were BJDs! A vender in the dealer's room had a Dollfie Dream, and several con-goers brought their little angels with them around the halls! Here's some of my favorites:

Also, there were many super-amazing cosplayers! I wish I'd taken more pictures! Here are two of my favorites:

And last but definitely not least, here are the spoils of the con.... mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...

I bought a Claymore necklace, yey! The next two discs for Naruto Shippuuden, so I finally have all of season one. A Team Rocket t-shirt I will wear with pride! A Zekrom plushie I have named "Stoney". (I bought Rasharim too and gave it Sarah's daughter on our trip home. She's so cute!) The first four parts of DragonBall Z Kai! The newest volume of Pandora Hearts, and a DragonBall Z doujinshi.

Best wishes everyone! Thanks for reading through my update and look forward to next time!